Category Archives: New Orleans

Adopt an Abundance Mentality Immediately

In a very rare occurrence in which I can agree with a particular online website is the premise by which Plenty of Fish operates: there’s more fish in the sea. A large problem I see with my associates who struggle with women is that they have developed a scarcity mindset. Scarcity mindsets cause men to go to the club and literally fight over the women. Scarcity mindsets cause men to become white knights in hopes of saving a woman to then receive attention and sex from her, which never happens (fyi: I am not saying anything is wrong from saving someone in an emergency). Scarcity mindsets cause thirst on Instagram, thereby inflating the woman’s ego and increasing her sexual market “price.” All of these tendencies I’ve mentioned are classified with someone who has developed a scarcity mindset. These tendencies are counterproductive to being successful with multiple women.

Enter the abundance mentality: there’s more fish in the sea. As a man who has been proactively meeting more and more women since I’ve made my long-awaited return to the game, the abundance mentality may be more powerful than any other tool in the player’s toolbox. Approaching is key but understanding why a large volume of approaching is necessary, one must firstly adopt an abundance mentality. You might say, well in my city most of the women are fat, bitchy, have kids, married, boyfriend, in jail, etc. Nevertheless, there are still some gems left in your city, depending on its size. I made the following chart to further illustrate my point. It is a snapshot of available attractive black women ages 17-35 in New Orleans (Orleans Parish proper):

women chart of new orleans

 

It does not take a scientist to throw one  of these together for your city. Back to the point, scarcity mindsets make more sense in rural areas, where the women are actually scarce. In these somewhat rare cases, it may be important to become the big fish in a little pond. However, 80.7% of Americans live in urban areas, according to the 2010 Census. That’s 4 out of every 5 Americans. So for the vast majority of Americans, there is no need to have a scarcity mindset. My men, adopt an abundance mentality immediately so we can stop the violence in the club, lower the attractive woman’s ego, and increase the camaraderie between males thereby eradicating the phenomenon of white knighting.

3 Ways Black Women from New Orleans are Great

jeanshorts

 

 

After giving you some of the more negative attributes of New Orleans’ colored women, I have to give you a few positive attributes of the black women here for one MAJOR and timely reason. Firstly, I am not being apologetic for the hit-piece I wrote on New Orleans’ black women earlier. It is the truth and the truth hurts. However, the major reason I have decided to write a pleasant article on New Orleans’ black women is due to how the women responded to the true advent of the spring season. The timing of the confluence of the 2014 spring season and French Quarter Festival worked in unison; its own version of the planets aligning. What I am talking about here is what we, the men of New Orleans, have been waiting for since October of 2013 because of the long winter that ensued: summer dresses, short shorts, long sexy legs, and skin skin skin skin skin. I think you get the picture. Saturday, April 12, 2014 was by far the most robust display of tits, legs, skin, and butts from our sistahs thus far this year and maybe since Essence Fest 2013. This display even blew away Mardi Gras 2014. How is that even possible? Well, it happened. Witnessing this even has enabled me to realize something special about the black women from New Orleans, that it would be remiss of me to not dedicate a positive post to these women who for the majority of the time piss me off. Here are three ways colored women from New Orleans are Great:

1. Black Women from New Orleans dress very sexy when it’s warm outside

Goodbye jeans, black tights (will be missed a bit), ugg boots, wool coats, knit caps and hello to the summer dresses, booty shorts, jean shorts with rips at the bottom, among other delicacies. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you all. It’s good to have you all back in my life. The women here will dress very provocatively during the daytime to attract men even if their own attitudes are incongruent. Deep down, I’m betting on this spring summer to be the impetus to higher quality and higher quantity of pussy in my life since I’ve been back in the game for 6 months or so. I am excited to be alive right now (even with one final supposed cold snap that’ll last a couple of days). But just check this itinerary: FQ Fest, Easter, Jazz Fest, Memorial Day… It’s gonna be a lot of skin exposure very very very very soon. There’s no way to not come up in this environment. I just Got to stay strapped when I’m inside those legs though.

2. Black Women from New Orleans shake their butts (twerk) with the best of them

I’ve been to black urban night spots in New York, NY, across Central Florida, Memphis, TN, Dallas TX, Atlanta Georgia, Jackson, MS, Baton Rouge, LA, among other locations. I haven’t been out in the Midwest and West Coast so it remains to be seen how our women stack up to women in those places in the twerk department. However, I would put any money that I’ve seen the best jiggles right here at home. Other places can compare only in the sense that they are willing to dance with men. It is very seldom in New Orleans for young colored women to grind on men. That started to cease in about 2002. Nevertheless, it is a spectacle to see.

3. Black Women from New Orleans just simply are attractive

The facial features and skin tones of the colored women are great and consistent across the board. I am not one of the black men who prefer light skinned women per se but I can attest that the mix is very extraordinary when it is combined with wild hair, curvy bodies (not fat but true curvy bodies), and long legs. Black women in New Orleans for those who do not know range from almost passing for white to black as night. The average is somewhere in between the extremes. It is mostly light brown skinned women who wear red lipstick and it is just incredible.

Discussion

I am not solely a complaint maker. I appreciate the things that I like and I give credit where it is due. This spring has sprung forth some new vibrancy into the black women of New Orleans. They have responded greatly with their great outfits and sexy bodies.

red pink shirt fqfestphoto

3 Ways Black Women from New Orleans Suck

So when you participate in discourse about the most desirable black women in the United States, you hear about Atlanta’s black women with their Georgia peaches and southern hospitality, New York black women with their sophistry and class, and Los Angeles/Cali black women with their cool demeanor and laid back attitudes. Every once in a while however, New Orleans black women would be thrown into the discussion and positive attributes such as the Creole Lady Marmalade, voodoo sex dolls, and black southern belle would be released out of someone’s mouth. Not…. so….fast, buddy.

Aside from the few things that make New Orleans black women palatable, such as being able to twerk better than possibly the entire world, wearing tight outfits with heels at the club, and being above average in looks for black women of American cities, a lot of black women in this town have negative attributes that make you want to wring their necks. Here they are:

1. The attractive black women of New Orleans don’t answer the phone/respond to texts and are super flaky

I am sure this occurs other places. However, this just does not occur as much in other places I have been. Just to recap on what I am taking about is the tendency of attractive black women from New Orleans who decide to give you their phone number but decide to not answer the call or respond to text. Even worse, women will agree on a date with you then cancel at the last-minute due to any number of reasons. Okay cool, things happen and lots of the time and she cannot meet. However, some reasons are not reasons but excuses in my opinion, such as, “i feel sick (but talking to me in a normal voice)” and “my friend is having a crisis.”  I am back in the game after a 6 year and some change LTR (long-term relationship) that went awry. The game, today, has shifted into another paradigm since I was last involved in 2008. Texting is the normal form of communication and talking on the phone is “old school.” Flakiness has increased tenfold from what I can remember. One reason I characterize the black women of New Orleans this way is because I meet black women in New Orleans who are from other cities and they don’t have these extreme flake tendencies. When I text, they text back. When I call, they pick up. When I invite them to meet up, they show up.

2. They wear too many unnecessary accessories

In America, the model of feminine desire is the thin woman with big tits and long-flowing hair. Black women can fit the thin part and even accentuate it with their own better tits and or bigger butts. However, the long-flowing hair does not occur naturally in most black women. The women who lack the ability to have this type of hair accommodate this “shortcoming” by applying relaxers into their hair even early in childhood. These relaxers are largely the culprit which causes hair problems later on in adulthood. Hence, the weave and extensions sprout up and they are here to stay. I do not have a problem with weave per se. I oftentimes do not like the way they smell. Perhaps I can invent a weave air freshener and make them smell better. I try to be empathetic as possible in regards to extensions, however, they are not as essential as black women tend to make them. Well done weaves and natural hairstyles can work well.

Weaves are not the main reason, I’m writing this, I am writing this to bring awareness to shame the use of fake eyebrows. These are the worst things to happen to the black women since Scrillex haircuts. Women in New Orleans are always striving to the be the most up-to-date in fashion which sometimes backfires. These eyelashes are not attractive at all. Take them out and throw them in the garbage.

Lastly, the amount of makeup that these women wear is disgusting. The times I have woken up beside a woman who had removed her makeup who appeared to not be the same person is astronomical. I prefer for a woman to wear minimal makeup. There’s no need to hide the acne with endless makeup. It gets on my clothes and bed sheets and is hard to wash out. We as men don’t wear that, why should you.

3. The majority of them are fat

New Orleans has unfortunately remained in the top 10 cities for highest murder rate since I was born in 1986 and a long time before that as well. The vast majority of people who die from these violent crimes are young black men from about ages 16-35. This would suggest that there are many more black females in this age range than males. The numbers suggest that this is true. This is a travesty that goes on in many major American cities, the loss of life of the black male. Also, a larger number of black males are incarcerated since they are largely the perpetrators in these crimes in New Orleans. Since a smaller number of black males exist in New Orleans due to violent crime and incarceration, there could only be a surplus of black women. That is correct but also problematic. The loss of the black male in cities across the United States is a major problem indeed. From a sexual marketplace standpoint, the black men in this age range who are not incarcerated and are alive are in a position to gain from this. Simple supply and demand economics: less males around = less competition/more males = more competition.

So getting back as to why this is problematic brings us to another dimension of the sexual marketplace of black New Orleans. Just go ahead and blame the greasy food, the carefree attitude, babies, American diet, fast food, the over-reliance on motor vehicles, poverty, the boogeyman, voodoo, Obama, or anyone else except the person in the reflection on the mirror on why in the hell there are sooooooooooooo many fat and overweight black women in New Orleans. The “advantage” in the sexual marketplace for living black men due to the decrease in males due to violent crimes and incarceration in New Orleans is negated since there are so many fat and overweight black women. Overweight and fat women are undesirable but they are aplenty in New Orleans. For you rare chubby-chasers and Shallow Hals out there, you will have a feast in New Orleans.

But guess what???? There’s a solution: Fat and overweight ladies, simply eat 25% less food than before and you will begin to lose weight and become more desirable to higher quality males. Cut your meal into four equal pieces and don’t eat one of the pieces.

Discussion

If New Orleans’ black women were to resolve these three things about themselves, New Orleans will be able to again boast as having the most beautiful black women in the United States with the Creole Lady Marmalade titles among everything else. Ladies, simply fix these three things and you will get your Pelican or Saint almost instantly. Ladies, I say all this because I love you am not afraid to tell you. Now, the woman beneath this has kids what’s your excuse? Because she’s rich, no, she takes care of herself.

vanessa williams and kids

 

How to Get Girls at Bars with Outdoor Seating

A very specific type of game is needed for a popular style of bar here in New Orleans. These types of bars have courtyards/outdoor seating. Much of the talent (fine women) are outdoors in the courtyard sitting with oftentimes mixed groups or among themselves. They are 99% drinking draft beers in large cups. This allows the women to chat together away from the bar causing them to nurse the beer. This type of setup calls for cold approaches. If you have not come with your own girls, cold approaching is the only way to succeed in this if you are not tied up into their social circle any kind of way. Therefore, in order to maximize the return of these types bars are to follow this steps:

1. It is better to take  a competent wingman with you

Since most girls will be here with groups, it will be better (not mandatory) to bring a cool wingman who can hold a conversation with you. You do not want to have to do all of the talking the entire time with two women, but who knows, maybe you can finagle a threesome out of it (1 in 50 chance). The wingman will be there to help the conversation flow smoothly. Make sure you decide on who wants who. Having a pair of women is more doable than 3+, at that point, cockblocking and ugly girl percentages increase.

2. Meet girls who are ordering drinks

These girls are either just showing up to find seats to be able to sit down and need a beer. These are also girls who were already seated and are getting their next round. This is the absolutely best time to approach them. Simply say, “hey, what kind of beer are you getting,” and take it from there.

3. Try to have a seat with said girls

After you have a built up a little rapport with the women, you can say “let’s go find a seat” to continue discussing, navel oranges and how they look like mammalian nipples while sitting. Be the man to find the seats and lead them there.

4. Take them home

At this point of the night, where a few rounds have been drunk, touching has been taking place, and perhaps a kissing session or two, it is time to take them to the next spot, the crib for further sexual activity. Simply say, let’s get out of here and take a cab back to the place. Smash like a champ!

Results may vary.

So long “amber” streetlights of New Orleans

In a paper I wrote in 2010, I outlined the need for New Orleans to revamp its streetlights in order to provide a modern appearance as well as to attract new visitors. Personally speaking, being beneath an “amber” colored streetlight incites a feeling of despair and hopelessness. I am sure others can agree. What the city of New Orleans has been noticeably undertaking this past year or so is replacing these “amber” colored streetlights with LED white lights. This is a long overdue  improvement over the “amber” colored streetlights which have occupied the streets. Beforehand, what I understand as a sodium mixture/solution was used to create the amber effect, now these are largely becoming replaced with a LED light panel. Here an electric lineman works on one of these light poles (courtesy of Fox8live.com):

electric lineman

 

This can be great for the city, in my opinion. It will remind our citizens that we deserve state of the art technology, it will lighten our streets, and it will just looked better and not so depressed. However, environmentalists and social justice advocates among others may not agree with me. The environmentalist’ argument in regards to insects is as follow: the white lights will confuse insects that there is no darkness and the bright white lights will suggest to the insects that the sun is up which will then disrupt the natural mating patterns, flight patterns, which in the end disrupts the food chain which the end game will be killing us all. They refer to this as some type of light pollution. I wonder if they deem volcanic eruptions as pollution? The social justice advocates advocate for lights which have not been restored since Hurricane Katrina to be prioritized higher than these replacement lights. Sure, they have a point, but it is important to not pass up opportunities . Every governmental decision does not have to indicated there being a winner and loser, but that is how some people think. Another complaint I have personally heard is how these new lights are not as bright as before. Honestly, they can cover a bit less space than the amber lights but it is white light instead of amber orange lights.

Nevertheless, I wish my farewell to the “amber” streetlights and welcome in this positive change. And so to you “amber” streetlights, “So loooooooooooong, you have lit this city for a long time, now it is time to rest in peace.”

Why do People from New Orleans…(Google Auto-Complete Edition)

Funny things happen all of the time on the Internet. One of the funnier things is to use the Google auto-complete tool to find out what people are searching for. Today I googled, “Why do people from New Orleans” and let the Google auto-complete tool do the rest. The following is a screenshot of what came up:

What do people from new orleans..........

Why do people from new orleans……….

 

I’ve put the list below. My answers are italicized. Here’s the list:

Why do people from New Orleans sound like New Yorkers?

  • Getthefuckouttaheaaa..I don’t think we sound like New Yawkers, maybe our vernacular is a bit similar.

Why do people from New Orleans have an accent?

  • Why do people from all over have accents?

Why do people from New Orleans speak French?

  • The Louisiana Purchase of 1803 was drilled in our heads. Of course, French were here long before that. Think 1718.

Why do people from New Orleans talk funny?

  • We don’t talk funny. Your ears are funny.

Why do people from New Orleans “Who Dat?”

  • Baby, we’re some Saints fans, that’s why we say “Who Dat!”

If Google auto-complete is a true barometer of what people are searching, it clearly appears out-of-towners are mystified of how we talk down yere. Ya heard me? Who dat?

The Second Tallest Building in the World is in Louisiana

Not the 5th, not the 4th, not the 3rd, but the 2nd tallest building on Planet Earth is located in Louisiana. The Burj Khalifa in Dubai is the only building on Earth that is taller than this lesser known building located in Louisiana. Have you figured out which building it is yet? Well we know for sure it is not One Shell Square on Poydras since it is only 51 or so stories tall. There are buildings right there in Mobile, Alabama, that are taller than One Shell Square.

One Shell Square New Orleans

One Shell Square New Orleans, LA

RSA Battle House Tower Mobile, AL

RSA Battle House Tower Mobile, AL

Still haven’t figured it out? Expand your mental faculty and think outside the box. Like, really outside the box. OK, now think water structure. Figured it out yet? What if I told you the second tallest building in the world is in Louisiana and it’s underwater? You would think I am crazy. Well, I am crazy, but that is neither here nor there. The second tallest building in the world is indeed in Louisiana and is located mostly underwater. The Petronius Platform is located about 210 km (130.5 mi) SE of New Orleans and stands 2,001 feet tall. Wait, so you are telling me there’s a building almost a half a mile tall in Louisiana? Yup. Take that Empire State Building, Sears Tower, and CN Tower!

Petronius Platform Gulf of Mexico, Louisiana

Petronius Platform Gulf of Mexico, Louisiana

 

That’ll do it for this weeks’ lesson in cool facts. Now go make some money.